Tuesday, January 9

Too early to potty train?

Rinsing Egan's morning poop is a highly thought provoking process.

A great after dinner pastime at our household is to watch America's Funniest Videos. The other night they had a series of videos having to do with gaggy daddies and changing baby's diaper.

Give. Me. A. Break.

You're not allowed to gag at stinky, poopy diapers until you're responsible for changing cloth diapers. Period. This act of parental duty has caused me to gag twice and vomit once.

Why, you ask?

She carries the poopy diaper to the bathroom, locating the several wipes placed atop the saturated diaper/cover combo, grimacing as she detects the additional wipes left in the folded, poop coated fibers.

Did he eat raisins?

After tossing the wipes into the garbage, rudely reminding herself to change the can, she heads to the toilet still holding someone else's pee [a grave mistake these days here on Iowa Street].

Once the flush concludes, she raises the seat, placing the soiled garment inside out, fingers firmly grasping the exterior. As she mocks the motion of a washing machine, agitating the diaper in the basin, she remembers why they decided to cloth dipe this babe and not the others. Had she and husband known then what they know now, they would have spared the landfill another ton of indecomposable [insert preferred disposable brand here] and saved hundreds upon thousands of dollars not one but two children ago.

Satisfied by the distraction her deep thoughts provided, keeping the dripping chunk free diaper over the toilet, she reaches for the cover. So as to not contaminate her family's surroundings with the various bacteria akin to excrement, she flushes with her socked toe, treads calmly to the door, opens with forearm, proceeds to laundry door, slides open with same forearm, tosses the rinsed remains into specified dipe recepticle, heads to the sink of the same bathroom and washes hands vigorously in scalding hot water, stopping just before her gag reflex sets in and her skin begins to blister, peel, and fall off.

I won't even go into the smell this said recepticle emits when enough diapers have accumulated for a washing.

Gag on THIS!


mamafitz said...

After tossing the wipes into the garbage, rudely reminding herself to change the can, she heads to the toilet still holding someone else's pee.

i HATE when that happens! really, though, it's not that bad? i'm feeling a bit bad i had a (big?) part in converting you. :)

Tara n' Josh said...

Yes! I love America's Funniest Videos and Tara never lets me watch them! I can tell her her intellectual friend Emily loves the program too. Something innately funny about watching somebody crash into a pole on a bike. I think that's why the Jackass series is so popular as well.
PS I still love Safeway Disposables! Thousands of dollars? We probably spend $40 a month on diapers, x12 months = $480 a year. Hopefully she won't be in diapers for the 5 years necessary to reach the thousands mark!