Friday, May 2

Life is something

Having to choose between being a SAHM and a professional career mom (PCM?) is kind of like a masochistic punch to the gut.

Many moms around me are SAHers and while I have been for a long time, I'm just finishing up graduate school and have many dropped hints that I may be offered a job. Jon seems to think it's like I'm choosing between which child to pull from a car sinking into a raging river. Because both of my parents worked when I was a kid, I don't feel the strong need to be a mom at home with the kids at all times baking, play date organizing, and crafting.

Don't get me wrong. If you've met my kids, you know how incredibly well-adjusted they are. For the most part. Except for Egan's fear of pooping on the toilet, Gil's tendency to sleepwalk and pee in his dresser drawers, and Allie's increasing pre-pubescent attitude.

Engaging in conversation about this dilemma with retired friends, I am encouraged to pursue my career because before I know it the kids will be active in all aspects of their lives and where will I be? The same argument is said by those in favor of staying at home. Keeping my copy of The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How it Has Undermined All Women with me at all times has been a comfort too.

I was not put on this earth to be a SAHM. While I love my kids more than anything anywhere on this whole entire earth, I feel very strongly that we'll all survive. Even if I am changing Egan's diaper well into his twenties.


Brash Lion said...

I am not a mother. That being said, I am a woman and a human being (so they tell me) and I think that the drive to fulfill all aspects of one's life is universal. Your children have had an awesome gift that not a lot of children these days have: Mommy within reach. But you know, animals in the wild set their kids free at a very young age. You've done your part for them (I mean, it's not over, but you know what I mean) and now you get to do your part for you. Not that the two are mutually exclusive. Dammit, it always just comes down to following your gut. Anyway, this comment is a blog post in itself. See you soon!

Tara n' Josh said...

Go for it, Em! If you're doing a job that you believe in and don't dread, it's totally worth it. I've always been a working mom so I'm here for ya if you need anything. My advice, though, is to find something flexible so you can stay home on a random Monday when you want to, attend soccer games, martial arts, p/t conferences, and all that. Tara

Anonymous said...

Good for you, Sister. You -can- make it work, like so many of us do! And the kids are the better for it, if it means a Mom who is more fulfilled-- chances are you will be a healthier, more balanced mother to them. We can't be everything for everyone, we just follow our instincts and do the best we can. I totally agree about making sure you find a situation with some flexibility and family-friendly hours. I'm so proud of you! J.

D&Z said...

I hear the struggle and also have a copy of the mommy myths. I have always wanted to be a SAHM when my kiddos are little, but have always known that I would work once they were all in school in full-time. Finding the balance is tough but when your kids fly the coop, you will have something satisfying and engaging for the brain.

Julie P. said...

good for you em! i'm glad you're putting your education to use on something besides blogging and reconciling your checkbook :)

your friend,
the baking, play-date-organizing, crafting (and proud of it!) SAHM