Friday, November 5

Day 5: Because I'm qualified

I'm left feeling a wee uneasy over here. I expose myself to pop culture, which is pretty much every day because that's the way my brain works. It's what keeps my attention. Keeps me young. Talk to me about any historical time frame or genre of pretty much anything -or math- and you find yourself puzzled; assisting me to sit up straight while wiping the drool from my chin, furrowing your brow in confusion, wondering if I've always been a mouth breather. You gently close my bottom jaw.

When I'm flipping through my US Weekly I observe these young starlets and talentless "musicians" wearing platform high heels and feel empty inside.

I just don't understand that style: Short sheath dresses by fancy-schmancy designers with anorexic stick figures underneath them, their ends, commonly referred to as "legs," stuck into PLATFORM shoes. I'm picturing Barbie over here.

Didn't Herman Munster or KISS set this trend? What? Those were different? they weren't.

When I need to wear high heels... wait. When the hell will I ever be required to wear high heels? I'm more likely to be found soaking in a tub of epsom salts.

My assignment to you, Wearers of High Heels, is to observe those wearing said shoes. Then scour the blogs and OKs to learn who isn't wearing hooker shoes platform high heels.

Meanwhile you'll be seeing me at the SAS shoe outlet.

No comments: