Ahhhh inspriration!

I've just joined the group Moms Who Drink and Swear on facebook. Finding this niche of women got me thinking...

Being who I am has come at some cost. Cost I am willing to let go. I've pissed off a lot of people. I've watched friendships whither and vanish. Somewhere along the line I vowed to myself that I would never be inauthentic. With myself or anyone else. You ask what I'm thinking? How I feel? I'm going to share my honest gut level truth with you. As well as myself.

Ongoing practice of kindness, respect, acceptance, openness, and tact is in process.

Growing into adulthood, I've learned a lot of people choose to be who they think they're supposed to be. Do what they think they're supposed to do. Allowing others' expectations to affect who we truly are is a slippery slope to a bottomless pit of self degradation and depression.

For me to be honest and true to who I am has relieved a lot of unnecessary hemming and hawing. Second guesses. Self doubt. Instead I have chosen a life of authenticity while focusing on self love. Tact is a tough one for me. NO SHIT! But, my dear friends, what you see is what you get. I have said that forever and ever and now feel I am truly living it.

Sure anti-depressants help, but after a lot of effort and conscious choices, I am who I am. I will not bend to pretend to be something or someone I am not. And I catch a lot of flack for that. Many struggle with honesty and authenticity. Guess what? That's about them. Not me.

Challenge yourself. Stand up for what you believe. While practicing respect, kindness, acceptance, openness, and of course, tact, do what you want to do. Even though those in your life may not agree with or accept you for it. That's about them. Not you.

Go drink and swear, you guys. You deserve it.

Things are getting personal

After admitting to my therapist and doctor that I imagine great relief from various levels of anxiety and maybe a little depression at the mere thought of allowing myself to be a little stoned all day, among other symptoms YOU GUYS, I am now the proud owner of a so far unfilled Zoloft prescription. Even though the reason for my appointment may not be earth shattering to you, Internet, it is to me.

I sort of take this as a journey I'm leaving in the hands of my kick ass doctor and the pharmeceutical industry. Playing with little pills that change your brain chemistry? Make your pupils dilate? Cause dizziness? Maybe I need to do a little more research but YIKES! Those unknowns are awfully scary to me, you know, after you read all the potential side effects like weight gain, dry mouth, teeth grinding and night sweats.

At this point, though, I figure I'll take those potential side effects while squashing the inner yick any day. That and Ween sings a song about it so it must be good.