Learning to fly

Amdist my wracked mothering nerves chased by Zoloft, I find myself slowly but surely grasping the importance of financial stability. I know, right?

As Jon and I were wading through the gunk of divorce, I was all, I'M GONNA GO HERE & I'M GONNA GO THERE...AND THERE...AND, AIRLINE TICKETS? $300? I'M THERE!! NEW SHIRT? SHOES? OUTTA MY WAY, JON!

The financial freedom from Jon's stinginess frugality I was experiencing was overwhelming. In my life I've had only ten years of financial education and that was from Jon. No offense, Mom & Dad, but I wasn't exactly prepared for living a financially responsible existence after leaping from your nest. The one piece of advice I still cling to, with one itty bitty pinky tip - but still, was my dad saying after graduating from high school, "DON'T. GET. A. CREDIT. CARD." 5 simple words I carried with me through my life before meeting Jon.

I find it a miracle I actually listened to my dad's advice. Looking back on my late teens and early twenties I cringe at the thought of carrying as much credit card debt as I did cases of beer, packs of cigarettes, and bags of weed. At least I didn't have a credit card.

Redefining

2010 has inspired me to redefine a very prominent relationship in my life. Due to divorce, Jon and I have been referring to our new relationship as Partners in Parenting. Considering the other our "partner." Funny how that one word really keeps the people guessing.

Before the wound began to scab I would call Jon my husband or when introducing myself to someone Jon knows: "Jon's wife, Emily." I would justify using these words for simplicity sake. I am learning in my adult life how to provide just enough information when describing something to convey the message while remaining authentic to myself. Does it really matter if the local dairy farmer knows my marital status? He couldn't care less, I'm sure. It's me who cares.

I love waking before the kids to get my work done and enjoy my coffee doing whatever I want.

I am grateful for the clothing I have to keep me warm.

Gratitude Day 2

1. I love my snow ready vehicle
2. I love water
3. I love winter storms
4. I love Pandora on my phone
5. I love my muffin top and am ready to let her go
6. I love Arby's
7. I love connecting with people
8. I love planning for summer fun
9. I love coffee
10. I love feeling at ease

1. I am grateful for a closet of clothes
2. I am grateful for music
3. I am grateful for water
4. I am grateful for internet access
5. I am grateful for my untapped professional creativity
6. I am grateful for being able to go to the grocery store to feed my family
7. I am grateful for my education
8. I am grateful for friendships
9. I am grateful for my health
10. I am grateful for me feet

I'm gonna share some gratitude and shit

I actually feel inspired right now to bring this writing interface back into my life. At least right now. Maybe it's because things are going pretty well for me and mine. Maybe it's because my New Found Freedom has me all into myself enough to think someone, anyone, will ever read this stuff. Maybe, just maybe, I really want to express how grateful I am for everything in my life.

Encouraged by my dearest Staub, I have been introduced to gratitude lists. I mean, I've heard about all this before. Gratitude and expressing it isn't anything new. It's really amazing when you stop and think, specifically, about what you're grateful for. Because I for one have a shitload to be thankful for. Another word, according to my Guru Staub, is Love. Love defined is gratitude merely simplified. Or rather, gratitude and thanks all bundled cozily in a plush, quilted, fleece lined bunting, tied with a soft cozy bow. In a four letter word.

Lucky you! You get to read what I've been thinking since January 1st, 2010.

1. I love my children.
2. I love the new found relationship Jon and I have discovered.
3. I love having a job.
4. I love feeling free.
5. I love spending time with my friends.
6. I love long road trips filled with music, laughter, and good scenery.
7. I love my new car.
8. I love having a warm home.
9. I love cupboards full of food.
10. I love evolving with my daughter.

1. I am grateful for my close relationship with my daughter.
2. I am grateful for having a healthy family.
3. I am grateful for health insurance.
4. I am grateful for drinking water from the tap.
5. I am grateful for my relationships with strong women.
6. I am grateful for my relationships with real men.
7. I am grateful for Jon's unconditional love and support.
8. I am grateful for my sister and her unconditional love and support.
9. I am grateful for my camera.
10. I am grateful that I can go home to love.